2.05.2017

three things from 2016

1. my worst day isn't bad enough and my best day isn't good enough. He invites me to His table because He loves me, not because i measure up. He desires my obedience, not my perfection. this produces deep trust in my identity as His kid and security that my acceptance is not based on my performance.

2. the wandering heart doesn't need to find a better tribe, but the best King. there were many years of my life where i clung to my free-spirit identity with honor and pride. my roots were only so deep and it gave me both the ability and flexibility to not stay in a single place for too long. then last year, as sure and as faithful and as tender as ever, the Lord brought me from an insecure, lone wanderer to a grounded, interdependent member of the body. He has used my community to show me more of His heart for His people at large and His heart for me. He has extended my covering further than i could have ever dreamed, and i will never stop thanking Him for the precious gift of being knitted in.

3. when i know His nature, i will not question His motives. when i found myself scraping the bottom of the barrel of belief or in the front-lines of the battle, His unchanging character held me secure. He not only does good things, He is Himself goodness. there is never a moment He is not found present, safe, or trustworthy. in every situation and season, as ever changing as they might be, He alone remains steadfast. our anchor holds us steady, even when our situations might encourage timidity.

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for the majority of 2016, i squinted. for if i squinted hard enough into the future, it was easier to see God's provision for and graciousness to me in every difficulty i was facing. but what was once a fuzzy, incomplete picture is now unveiled clarity before me. eventually, i realized that if i let Him into the dark corners of my heart, no single part of me can stay stale and old. He is the most tender and the most kind in His restoring and reordering of His people.

Jesus, keep me squinting all my days.

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