This year did not go the way I anticipated. There was hurt and confusion and questions still unanswered. But in the midst of the mess, I saw Jesus quietly, steadily inviting me deeper. Deeper into His presence, deeper into trust, deeper into abandoning my life and claiming His.
The simple truth is, Jesus wants to dwell in every room of my heart, even (read: especially) the dark, hidden, scary ones. This is my story of Him opening the doors.
1. Jesus is big enough to be questioned. When life makes no sense I do not have to pretend like it does. He is a safe place. I can come to Him, questions and frustrations in hand, and know I will not be turned away. He is a good Father who invites us to walk through the hard places with Him.
2. Waiting on Jesus is never wasted time. I wouldn’t mark this year fruitful, at least in ways that are seen. This season was a lot of waiting, a lot of resting, and, well, a lot of trying to resist the rest offered to me too. But maybe, just maybe, His slowness is for me to learn the rhythms of His heart and understand grace in a new way. Maybe His slowness is a chance to test if my heart will truly say: He alone is enough for me.
3. He is dedicated to redemption. This is the most precious news! He does not give up on us. He is dedicated to making us new, making us more like Him. It's not always pretty or easy (and, brutal honestly, sometimes I wish He wasn’t so dedicated, so my life could be a little easier), but He is still faithful to take us deeper, pull us closer. So even when I don’t see it, I can trust that everything sad is going to come untrue and that somehow by His good and sovereign plan, it will all be more beautiful for having once been lost and broken.